Being Single

A personal choice? By providence? Or, by default?

Let's take the first one, personally choosing to be single. This ain't for cowards. Definitely not. Choosing to be single forever could mean incessant questioning of people around you about your choice as if you have no idea what to imagine happening to you in your aged years. Something that can get annoying but cannot be avoided---some of them asking just out of curiosity on your choice, some wrongly equating singleness with being a hermit or close to being anti-social thus really finding it wrong, some feeling perfect in their married life-- now thinking that marriage is and must be the only option there is for EVERYONE, and some others question you just for the sake of having a say on it.

But why do some people choose to be single even if there is the option not to be?
Maybe this can be best answered with another question: Why do people choose to enter and stay in a relationship even if its not bearing any good fruit at all? I say, between a tree that bears so much fruit and a tree that doesn't give you any, which one would you choose?

Let's take the second one--- Singleness by providence. This one takes time to be realized and will eventually have to lead also to the first type, singleness by personal choice. This is even tougher than the first one because its like your free will is denied. No matter how hard you try to escape from being single, nothing works. But since it takes time to realize that it is by providence, the old adage holds true: "You'll never know until you try". Try entering into a relationship as often as you can, and see it crumble soon. It just won't work. With this type, there will always be something missing while in a relationship, like your peace is never complete. It becomes ironic. The more single you are, the more you feel you are not alone. The deeper you are into a relationship, the more you feel alone. Why? Because you were designed that way. God willed you that way and you allowed His will to manifest. Remember when you said "Thy Will be done"? Personally, I think this is the best type because God must have a very gooooooood reason why He willed it. You could even feel pampered by God, being free from all the relationship troubles people experience in their daily lives, paralyzing them from doing better and exhausting their emotions day in day out, such useless worries. Least of all, if being single by providence is a sacrifice, then it must be the easiest sacrifice there can ever be!

Now comes the third type---singleness by default. This is the pathetic option. Not doing anything about it, just waiting to be discovered. Some might even claim it as being a providence when in fact, no discernment is being done and no effort at all in finding the right match, if there is. Allowing career to consume all your life and ignoring everything else can default you to state of singleness forever. You will know it if you are becoming single by default because you will never run out of opposite gender around you, there will always be a candidate vying for your affection, giving you the option to jump into the idea of relationship. You always have the option. But if you opt not to entertain these other options, then you are at dafault.

To have or not to have a child of your own is another issue. :D

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